Doodles

My doodle of an exceptionally orange giraffe!

When I was in 4th grade, I drew strange human figures with two hands spread out at odd right angles, bursting firecrackers or flying kites. I was praised by all and I felt proud. My father is an artist, thought my little brain skipping with happiness, and it is only natural for me to be a prodigy too. I accepted all the appreciations with a wide grin and a ready smile. Every time the relatives came to visit us, out came my drawing notebook and out poured my tiny renditions of the life I witnessed around me. 

But as I grew up, the clones of crooked figures that stretched across white pages pleased me no more. I imagined fields of meadows, bees buzzing in the wind, white fleecy clouds floating across and children playing catching butterflies. But as I took the pen and brush, suddenly they had a whim of their own and lines jagged here and there, scrawling ants and scarecrows, laughing up at my miserable attempts. 

Initially, I felt confused. Where did my skills suddenly disappear to? Why couldn’t I draw the way I saw the things? Why couldn’t they be as special as before? Then I felt frustrated and perhaps even a little angry at myself. Insecurity grew in my head, spreading slowly like pond scum. Was I ever really that good or did they just praise me because I was just a child, I wondered sometimes. What I saw in my mind’s eye, I never again could bring them on the paper in front of me. Dissatisfied with myself, I vowed to move on. Over the years, the pens gathered dust and the sketch board remained forgotten, lost under the desk. I ultimately told myself, I had grown up, this is what adulting feels like.

Then one day, during a lecture in college, bored and hungry, I scribbled absentmindedly in the margins of my copy. I forgot how funny the zigzag lines looked or how crooked my stick figures stood. I looked at the doodles, tiny misshaped pizzas and peculiarly tidy miniature cone ice-creams, thought of the food and smiled, remembering the taste. I scribbled some more, recalling every other thing that randomly popped into my mind. As the teacher droned on, my copy was suddenly full of my favourite things. I realised, I need not be a prodigy to enjoy doodling. 

I didn’t have to be good at it, it was only meant to be fun!

39 thoughts on “Doodles

  1. True. We are often let down by our self-doubt. Some things are meant to be for fun. We neednot be perfect in what we do, what should matter more at the end of the day is that we are happier doing it.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. The giraffe doodle is so cute!
    And I love the message in this. Whatever you do, you don’t have to be perfect in it, as long as you enjoy doing it. I’m glad you found you love for drawing again during that college lecture! 😊❀

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Sometimes when we begin to expect too much of ourselves and not appreciate the process or pace at which we grow, it leads to disappointments and we feel let down by ourselves.

    Also Shruba, the giraffe doodle is damn adorable✨😍

    Liked by 2 people

  4. The giraffe is so cute and so it’s the story attached to it. I think your frustration stemmed bcoz u stepped in2 adulthood when things doesn’t appear the way they used to be. But, don’t doubt…keep going ❀️✊

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks a lot fren, you’re right. We take up too much pressure to do something and forget it’s just for fun and it’s okay to not be great at it as long as you enjoy the process! ❀☺☺

      Like

  5. I think the problem is that you tried to apply one artwork style to another you had no experience doing before. Theres a lot of struggle while learning new drawing techniques, it doesnt mean that you are bad, it means it is a painful process you must go through with lots of practice and dedication.
    Im sure you can make it, thats a nice giraffe.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Perhaps you are right. The fact is to become really good at anything one has to spend wuality time learning and honing the skills. But we forget that we need be very good at something to just enjoy the process. Especily in case of hobbies, we cannot always afford to invest that amount of timeor patience so it remains a substandard level. That’s where I would like to reinforce that it’s okay to not be great at something and still be able to derive pleasure from it. Thanks for your thoughtful comment!! 😁❀❀

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  6. The giraffe turned out cute. Doodle doesn’t have to be good at all. Good, you realized it’s for fun. I loved drawing at my leisure time as a child and lost that interest and skill as an adult. No matter how I try to draw now, it doesn’t look anything like the object in mind.πŸ˜€. I gave up.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Pls the giraffe is SO SO CUTEπŸ˜­πŸ’œ I think art is all about expression. There is nothing called good or bad art. What you create, you create on your own and that’s the only truth to it I guess πŸ₯ΊπŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’œ

    Liked by 1 person

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